The End is Near at Hand!

Nothing like waiting until the last minute to finish up everything! I just completed my very last formal interview and it feels great! I've been working on formal and informal interviews for the past two months now and have learned more than I ever imagined I would. The hard part now is conveying everything I learned. I think I have come to terms with the fact that there are somethings that you can only learn, or at least fully understand, through experience. I have already started working on my final paper and it is surprisingly easy to write--the hard part will be keeping it concise and articulating well the many things that I have learned. :)

The interviews have been such wonderful experiences. Since I have worked as a Freshman Mentor for the past two years and am starting my master's program for Marriage and Family Therapy in the fall, I have grown pretty accustom to asking people, that I don't necessarily know very well, personal questions or details about their lives. That said, I am still surprised by how open people have been with me, especially when I have had to use a translator; in those situations, it's like they're telling intimate details about their lives to two strangers--not an easy thing.  I interviewed one girl who had been with her boyfriend for six years, had two children, and was only 18! After the interview, she told me that she it was a wonderful experience and that she told me things that she has never told people and things that her boyfriend didn't know. Her interview was probably the most dramatic, but she wasn't the only person who told me something like that afterwards, most did actually. :) This experience is amazing in and of itself, but what makes it even more meaningful is that I truly believe that it has changed me for the better and has helped prepare for my future career, and just for my future life in general.

It is funny what living in a different culture for three months can do to you, I feel like aspects of how I live and what I think have changed without even realizing it. I was having a conversation with a BYU student about courting and gender roles (my research topic), and the things I said were surprising me. I forget if I mentioned this before or not, but when I first got here I told myself, nothing is better or worse, just different, BUT--deep down--I still held onto the idea that my previous held/American ideas were better. Now, I find myself thinking more like an Italian in some aspects. Honestly, I really feel like I've kind of been able to find my own culture--I obviously understand American culture and I feel like I've come to understand the Italian culture as well; more than just the culture surrounding my topic, but just the culture in general. I respect both cultures and have gotten to a point where I can look at them and compare them more objectively. I can see the good, and some of the bad; I can see how each way of life and style of thinking work. I guess I have really just come to really internalize the idea that there aren't things that are better or worse about either culture, they're just different.

I truly am sad to go home at this point. I really thought that three months would feel like a long time, but my plane takes off in 3 1/2 days and I have such mixed feelings. I feel ready in the sense that I came her and made the most out of my experience. I know that I will be able to look back on my field study and not have regrets and have to think, 'Oh I wish I did that or took that opportunity.' At the same time, I have had such wonderful experiences here that I'm not quite ready for them to end--I have friends here, I have a way of life, I have a family...those are hard things to say goodbye to. I realize I'm going home to family, friends and a way of life that I've known twenty two years, but even still...

I was just hanging my clothes out on the clothes line and hand washing the dishes, and as much as I hated the fact that most Italians didn't use drying machines or dish washers when I got here, I have a feeling that I will miss those aspects of living here. There is a lot I will miss. That said, it's on to the next stage of life. My last few days will be great--going in to Rome tomorrow, sleeping on the beach with some friends that night and spending my last few days enjoying amazing people and the wonderful culture. :D I am so glad I chose to do a field study, where I've actually been able to get immersed in the culture. This was truly the experience of a lifetime!

Life is Good!

I am happy to report that things have really been looking up since I got my bag stolen. From the moment it happened, I tried to find the silver linings, but I am truly surprised at how many there have been. I went to an activity at the church that night and had an opportunity to talk to the missionary couple for the GANS (YSA) in Rome, I got a 'mom hug' from the Sister Krueger and asked Brother Krueger fora blessing. From that moment, everything took a turn for the better. Someone did a bad thing (stealing my bag), but I feel like I can hardly go a few minutes without  someone doing something nice and reminding me that people really are good.


 There were a couple students staying with my host family the weekend after my bag got stolen, and I decided to head into Rome with them Monday morning--they wanted to see some of the tourist sites and I needed to get my passport and pick up the money that my mom wired me. I got to the American Embassy around 1:30 to get my passport and had to wait until 2 to get in. The guards, in typical Italian fashion, were more than friendly--the first two I met offered to show me around Rome afterward, one offered to come to Bracciano and visit me, and a third suggested I meet him for drinks that night haha. I was allowed inside the embassy, under 'emergency circumstances', I went through security, and I made my way up to American affiars where I was denied a passport because I didn't have cash on me (and they wouldn't let me pay with my parent's card number). In a crunch for time, I went down to pick up the money that was wired to me; however, I was informed that I couldn't get without a passport. So there I was, lost for a solution--no passport without money, but no money without a passport. I went back to the embassy, explained my situation and they agreed to make me an alternative document that I could use to pick up the money, but then told me that I would have to come back the next morning to pick up my passport--which I did. Quite the hassle, but everyone was so nice, I actually think I might go back to visit again now because I've gotten to know so many of the employees! :) 

The students who were staying at my house; I went into Rome with them when I was getting my passport

Now, I think a change of subjects is in order--it happened, and I've moved on! I've finished half of my interviews and have the other half scheduled! I should be done by this weekend and I couldn't be more excited! I feel like I chose the best research project in the world, it's something I love to talk about and to learn about. I feel like I could write my final paper right now if I wanted to, and that I'm just doing the formal interviews to get the last checks off my Field Study To-Do list. I wish I had my computer everywhere and do a formal interview on the spot; I think that if I had brought a consent form a few more places that I would actually be done with my interviews, but no worries--I'm looking forward to the ones I have coming. :)


Challenges at this point....honestly, after getting past the huge hump, it's hard to even complain. I think more than anything, I'm just sad that I only have three weeks left here. I can't believe how quickly time has passed!


Lessons I've learned: Like I said before, people in general are just good--I love how I can come to a new country, live away from my family and friends and still feel so loved. I've definitely had my moments where I've felt alone, I think anyone would. That said, I think Italians are some of the most kind, open, and loving people. I decided that I didn't want to do homework this morning, so I just road my bike into Bracciano city and walked all around the city (it's not huge). After about 30 minutes, I made some new friends, grabbed some fruit juice with them at a nearby bar (not American type bar, what we would consider more of a cafe), and invited them to come play water and beach volley with me and some more of my friends tonight. Really, I don't know how I could complain about life.

Playing Water Volley in Bracciano Lake--where I live

Worst Day

I feel so dumb right now, I don't even know how to articulate it. Unfortunately I have a feeling that once you read the rest of this post, you will be shaking your head at me in disbelief. I don't even know why I'm writing now, probably because I can't get ahold of anyone and don't know what else to do. I was planning on going to Cinque Terre tomorrow with my friend Emma, I packed up all my things--passport, documents, money, train tickets (that I bought for her and I, for about 150 Euro), clothes and threw a towel on top because I was going to the beach today with some other friends and planned on taking a train straight from there to Rome, staying the night in Rome, and then getting up bright and early for what surly would have been the best weekend of my trip. I was waiting at the near the fire station for Giulia to pick me up when I realized I forgot some papers that I could use for my research while I was away. It was a tug a war inside my mind what to do--return to the house (it was only 5 minutes down a dirt road) or go without the papers. I decided to go down the dirt road, but I didn't want to make Giulia wait. Since I've actually only seen one other person use that road--my neighbor--I decided to slide my bag in some buses and run home so I wouldn't waste time. WORST DECISION OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. I ran home, grabbed the papers, ran back--all in about 5 minutes. I passed the spot where my backpack was, realized it, and turned around to grab it. It wasn't there. My word, obviously I should have never let something carrying so many important things--passport, documents, credit card, money, train tickets, my camera, even my diary/field journal and a letter to a friend--out of my sight. I wish a million times that I was capable of going back in time--not making such a dumb mistake, but I can't now...

I ran into a nearby fire station and tried to explain my problem to 6 men who didn't speak any English; one man came to help who spoke some english. So, here I am, stressing, with a lump the size of Texas in my throat, and feeling more dumb than I ever have in my life because what happened was 100% my fault. It wasn't an unlucky thing, I honestly think I would feel better right now had someone robbed me face to face.. I jotted a few numbers down before my phone completely died--Diego and Mara's (host family), my bishops, Emmas, and my friend Guilia--who was on her way to get me. My phone died, the firemen called the police, who came. They also didn't speak English. Now, I am definitely learning Italian and getting better, but trying to explain something like this in Italian was probably one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Diego's dad, bless his heart, came to the station and we drove to the police station to file a report. I just can't believe how things changed so quickly from being so great to so miserable. I have no documents, hardly any money, and the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don't want to talk to anyone because it was such a dumb mistake, and I feel so miserable already that I don't think I could take someone giving me one of those 'are-you-serious?' looks. I wish I could talk to my mom, but although Emma was able to help me get ahold of her and let her know what happened, my phone is now dead and I can't get to her through Skype. I am in serious need of a 45 minute long hug, but don't even feel like I deserve that right now. :/

I'm trying not to be pessimistic, since the moment it happened, I tried to find a solution and the silver lining. But right now, I'm lost for both... I am so grateful for everyone and their help, but so sick that I did this. Ah, how a split second decision and 5 minutes can change everything so quickly. I dread talking to anyone.. I have this complex where I don't cry, but I think that if anyone made me feel worse, by reinforcing how dumb of a mistake I just made was or showed me any sympathy, I think the tears would come. I don't mean to be melodramatic, and writing this out has helped. Guess it's time to put on my big girl panties and stop feeling sorry for myself. I did this, I take responsibility, I will figure it out. This isn't going to ruin my field study. There's got to be a silver lining, somewhere...

I'm Alive!

I'm Alive! And doing wonderfully! :) We FINALLY got WiFi at my house, which will definitely make communication a lot easier. I think last time I wrote, I was complaining about how hard some things were. I recently spoke with a friend whose mom read my blog (Hi Sister Blake:) and relayed to Audrey that I was having a difficult time. So, to start things off, I just want to let anyone and everyone know that I'm happy here--which I guess probably shouldn't come as too much of a surprise, I mean, I'm in Italy for goodness sakes. :) That's not to say that there aren't difficult times, but that's because it's real life here--not just a vacation--and what is life without trials? (That was a rhetorical question, but I guess the answer would probably be: A Chick Flick).

I have dedicated my first month to TONS of informal interviews, which were incredibly vital to my project. Part of me feels like I know most of the answers to my questions now, but if I hadn't done those 'informal' interviews, I assure you that I would have asked the wrong questions. I want to understand dating and courtship for young adults in Italy, which--I have learned--is quite (I want to say extremely, which is probably more true, but I'm trying not to exaggerate) different from the dating in the states, and then--of course--WAY different from the dating culture at BYU. Even the wording in my drafted questions didn't really make sense for the Italian culture. For example, there really isn't a direct translation for 'date,' a word that seemed obvious and self explanatory to me. Whenever I asked people about what a date is like in Italy, I had to explain what I mean; and since being here, my explanation for a 'date' has changed to something actually occurs here. I definitely am thankful to have my host brother here, who is fluent in English. The negative side is that we speak a lot of English, so I am not practicing my Italian as much as I could be. The upside: He can explain so many things to me about Italian culture in a way that I can really understand, he helped me translate my consent form, and can help me with some translating!

The best thing that has happened here, for myself and for my project is making friends. I actually met a girl named, Giulia, while I was studying at the library a few weeks ago and we've become pretty good friends. She is an absolute sweetheart and invites me to do things with her and her friends, which has given me the opportunity to make even more friends--that all live right around Bracciano! The last few days, I've been hanging out with a girl named Gisenia--she took me all around the nearby towns, and also to the gym--for 3 1/2 hours! Pretty intense, but I needed the work out, was able to meet even more people there, and got a taste of another aspect of the Italian culture. So, to state the obvious, things are really looking up. :)

My biggest challenge now is getting everything I need to do, done. I conducted my first official interview a couple days ago, which was 1) Great, and 2) made me realize a few things that I need to change in my questions--it's really a continual work in progress. I'm taking my 'mid-semester' retreat next week (which seems wayy too soon!), but I get to go to Sicily, so the only complaint connected to that is that I have less  than 7 weeks left here! It is truly amazing how quickly time flies! So right now, it's a balancing act, which is easier to do when I'm not in a new place and eager to see and experience everything. If only I didn't have my social psychology class to do while I was here (last class I need to 'officially graduate; since I took 11 credits towards my field study winter semester, that means I have to take 1 last psychology class this spring/summer so that I can start grad school in the fall!).

I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned here, that I thought I knew pretty well to begin with, is the importance of being open minded. While life in Rome is extremely fast paced, life in Bracciano isn't as much. Convenience isn't the motivating factor in people's lives here--my host family takes time to prepare meals, to eat meals together and talk for a long time, and to hand-wash every plate, spoon, pot, and pan--even though they own a dishwasher (which I've never seen used). Being early isn't as important. Buying some groceries everyday is normal (I swear the reason that the food is so good here is because it's so fresh!). I've learned to like it. Even with 'dating'/courtship in Italy, at first I had to actively remind myself not to be judgmental and to take the attitude that, 'it's not better or worse here, just different,' even though I felt like it was worse. Now, I've grown to see the beauty in it, and think I might be developing a preference for it--which is something I NEVER expected. It's the same with a lot of things, but rather than preferring one thing over the other, I have really been able to find the good, and sometimes the bad, in each.  That has come a lot with taking the time to understand the reasons that motivate behavior. Many Italian people that I have met don't ignore the benefits of convenience, they would just rather spend quality time with family and friends--doing dishes together is a way to spend quality time together--one that I didn't appreciate until recently.

I really do think that everyone should go experience a different culture, and not just have it as a bucket list item that never gets crossed off. I have had so many people tell me how jealous they are that I am in Italy. My advice to them is simply: Do It! There will always be a million excuses to make, and a million reasons why it's better to wait. It would have been better for me, in a lot of logical ways, to stay in Utah or live at home in Washington this summer. Rather than spending all my money, I could have saved it; I could be doing more research to prepare for Grad School in the fall. If I had stayed home, I would be there to see my little brother get back from his mission, and gotten to see some good friends get married. Basically what I'm saying is that circumstances are rarely perfect, but you've got to go for what you think you want and need. That was true for my decision to come here, and that's true for my experiences here. It's not easy to put myself out there, but what worthwhile things were ever easy? I am learning a lot here, making a conscious decision to be happy and outgoing, and loving it. :D

and, since pictures say 1000 words, and I'm crunched for time, here some are:

Cinthya and I eating at a little cafe in Rome; and by eating I guess I mean just drinking juice and eating chocolate--which we got for free :)

At a soccer game in Rome!

A late night crepe and panino

The Rome Temple construction!

Bracciano Lake

Making pizza with my host mom, I now LOVE: tomatoes, salt, and olive oil. Mamma Mia!

The hedge hog that my friend and I  almost hit

VATICAN CITY:

climbing the stairs of St. Peter's Basilica in Vatican City

View from the top

Gesenia and I

Dinner with an investigaor and the sister missionaries; the one on the right and I took an Italian class together at BYU!
Side note: I think there were 4 different main dishes and about 9 sides for this dinner!

Italy: the good and the bad

I have been living in Italy for a little while and getting a lay of the land, I feel like I did a pretty good job and perceiving some of the road bumps in my study, but I am still facing a lot that I did not expect. Meeting people seems like a pretty difficult thing to do, unfortunately. I have met a lot of young adults through church activities, but they live all around Rome and the surrounding areas, so even if I did want to spend time with them and learn more about it, that is a very difficult thing to do. I really need to meet some young adults in this town. I was hoping that my host family would know a lot of people and be able to connect me to some friends, given that there were to young adults living in this house (only one other now) that are 24 and 26. Unfortunatly, they haven't lived here long, and don't know a lot of their surrounding neighbors. No one in the home I am staying in works in the town of Bracciano, so they don't have those connections either.

I was introduced, however, to a girl named Morgana, who lives in Bracciano, by my host mom, Mara. I was telling Mara about what I was trying to do with my study, and she was racking her brain trying to think of someone. Then she mentioned that she knew a girl named, Morgana. We were in the car when she was telling me this, and who would you guess we see walking just a few minutes later? Morgana! So she pulled over, I got out of the car, and she started to drive away. I realized it was only to park, but that still left me alone with a girl, and who seemed like her boyfriend, that I didn't know. They both spoke a little bit of English, and with my Italian we were able to introduce ourselves. She was really nice, and so was her boyfriend. She told me to get her number from my host brother and give her a call so that we could do something. Thank goodness! I really need to call her, not only for my study, but just for my sanity--I need a friend, one that I can go chat with for 30 minutes when I need a break, ya know?

I guess that is my biggest challenge so far here, just feeling alone. Not that I am always alone--which I guess I am at this point. I've realized though that, at least for me, it is easier to be alone, than to feel alone when you are with a big group of people. The language barrier is really getting to me. I can get my point across in some situations, but not all. And even though there are people here that speak English, I really want to be able to communicate with the people who don't and understand them. Basically none of the girls here speak English, so if I want to be friends with them, I need to really work on my Italian. There's a couple things that are really hard about it, 1) That I went from being one of the smartest people in all of my classes, to feeling like one of the least intelligent people here, just because I can't articulate or express what I want to. 2) Because I don't feel like I have a voice here, I guess it's kind of like what I've heard from other people, you kind of lose your personality a bit here with the language barriers. It was really embarrassing for me when my host mom, Mara, started explaining to everyone at church, what I was doing here--that I was in Italy to study people. Everyone kind of seemed put off by it--that it was weird. I wanted so badly to just express myself, because mainly, right now, I just want to make friends. It's hard now, my host Mom thinks that I am really quiet, mainly because I don't know how to express myself-especially to here (she speaks so quickly) , so I guess I just don't. That's definitely something I need to work on. Mistakes are the best teachers, that's what I hear! If only it was as easy to do.

YSA Group Last Saturday

15 Days!

It's true, I leave the United States in just 15 days! I really can't believe how much time has passed and how quickly it has gone by! I'm definitely a little bit nervous--just about everything coming together--but I am more excited than anything else. This is going to be an experience of a lifetime for me, and I want to get the most out of my time in Italy as possible. I feel like I'm at this funny point in life where I am on the brink of entering into a new phase of life; I'm leaving so much behind and everything in my future is new--it's unknown! I have 3 days left of classes at BYU, I will take my finals, I will graduate and walk in Commencement on April 20th. Then, in 4 short days, I will leave my friends, my family, and everything that I am comfortable. I will live in a foreign country for 3 months and come back to a new set of unknowns: grad school.

I have really been trying to plan things out and be prepared, but I think what my field directors have been telling me for months is finally really starting to sink in, "I need to be okay with ambiguity." I'm still trying to determine if my mindset has really shifted that much by choice, or that if it has shifted because it had to--because I realize that as much as I try to control something, I can't (like my housing for instance--still up in the air). Either way, it has. I don't know where I'm going to live, who my friends will be, how I will do with communication, or even how I'm going to go grocery shopping. One thing I do know though is that I will figure it out. I think everything is so ambiguous now because I'm not there, once I'm actually in Italy, my life won't be ambiguous because I'll be living it. Does that make sense? Right now my future is ambiguous, even tomorrow is ambiguous--I can plan my day out (which I usually do--hour by hour), but unexpected things will happen and I will be fine; I am doing all I can prepare now, and I will figure out every curve ball that is thrown at me when it comes. That's how it should be. I played softball for 8 years, and I think the analogy works out very well. You don't start swinging--or even determine where or how you will swing the bat--until the pitcher releases the ball; if you did, you would strike out just about every time. I think that by understanding that concept, I can better grasp what living with ambiguity means. It doesn't mean I'm not prepared, just like a batter who has spent hours in batting practice, I have spent dozens upon dozens (probably more) hours preparing for this field study. And with the skills and knowledge I've developed, I will step up to the plate in Italy and take the curve balls as they come. :) I hope this all made sense, because I really feel like I've just had an epiphany.

Being okay with ambiguity doesn't mean that I'm okay slacking off and not preparing, it means that I've prepared, and because of that preparation, I am ready to handle ambiguity--to thrive in and with it.

Historical Immersion!

Rome is a culture with such a strong history--one that I definitely want, and need, to learn about to truly understand the Italian culture. I was talking to a woman yesterday who recently had the opportunity to travel to Italy and she was going off about how you can just feel the history in some of the ancient buildings. I've always felt similarly with things like that. I was reading/looking at some ancient manuscripts for a humanities class a year or two ago and felt such a connection with the past--someone, or maybe several people, spent their time making those manuscripts hundreds or thousands of years ago, and they were preserved so that I could experience them. I feel like I will have similar feelings about the ancient architecture and artwork in Rome. Yes, I want to be immersed in their current culture, but in order to understand the present circumstances, I feel that it is so important to learn about the past. I want to not only see the art and architecture around the city, I want to experience it, hopefully with friends that I've made in Italy that have a better understanding of it and can help me understand it's importance to them. I guess it's not directly related to my project, but it's related to my overall experience which is the most important part, isn't it?


So, although I won't be at museums all day, they are an aspect of Rome that I want to experience--so, to get the most bang for my buck, I've looked into some potential passes that I can purchase


Roma Pass

• 3 day pass

• free transportation 

• free admission for 2 museums or sites, exhibitions and events

• can be used at more than 40 monuments

• costs 25 euros

Vatican and Rome Card

• admission & no waiting in line for the Vatican Museums and Colosseum

• includes transportation, open bus Roma Cristiana, itinerary audio tours and maps, traveler medical assistance and dicounts

• discounts for admissions to most other monuments and museums in Rome

Appia Antica Card

• good for 7 days from first use

• free admission to the Baths of Caracalla, the Villa of the Quintili, and the Tomb of Cecilia Metella

Biglietto 4 Musei - 4 museum combination tickets

• free admissions to each of 4 national museums of Rome;  Palazzo Altemps, Palazzo Massimo, Diocletian Baths, and Balbi Crypt

http://goitaly.about.com/od/romeitaly/qt/rome_pass.htm

So, these all seem great, but I definitely feel like they're more geared towards short, tourist trips... I just bought an international student ID card, maybe I'll look more into what that offers...I am going to be there for 3 months, I don't want to try to crunch all of my historical exploration into 3 days, or even 7, I'm hoping that I can find an option that spreads it out a little more. I guess all I can do is keep my eyes and ears open!

Safeguarding My Money

I've got my cell phone plans almost all figured out for Italy, the next thing I need to worry about is money. I feel like my trip is so close at hand that I'm really getting down to a lot of the logistical details of my trip--which is great! It's also a little bit taunting. There are SOOO many little things I can do now, before I get to Europe, that will make my experience a lot less stressful when I'm actually there. The trick is trying to determine what all those little things are, and then making time to actually do them. Like I said before, I've got my cell phone situation figured out, and I have bought my International Student ID card--2 checks off my list. Now I'm trying to figure out how I will withdraw money, and when I have the money, how I will keep it secure.


I was reading online (http://goeurope.about.com/od/moneymatters/a/atm-card-fees.htm) about withdrawing money in Italy. There is a 250 Euro limit per day that I can draw out, and I've found that in the long run, it is better to withdraw larger amounts of money. This is because each bank charges different service fees and has associated costs for withdrawing money outside of the United States. This website tested several different debit/credit cards in Italy and fond the top four ones for international use. I was relieved to see that my bank, Wells Fargo, was among them. Sadly, it wasn't thee best--there is a $5 fee for all withdrawals, which is more than the 1% fee charged by a couple of other banks. Because of that, it will be important for me to make sure to always withdraw the maximum amount of money, so that I waste the least amount of money possible from service fees. 


A problem that comes with withdrawing the maximum amount of money is, of course, safeguarding my money.  Italy is somewhat well known for their pick-pocketers, and purse snatchers. The advice the website suggested was to keep the majority of my money and important documents (passport, etc.) in a travel security wallet or passport holder, worn under my clothing (which may be slightly uncomfortable), and then to carry a small amount of cash and one credit card in my purse, pocket, or pack.


One great piece of advice this website had was to take down the foreign phone number for each atm and credit card so that if it is lost or stole, I can report it. They also suggested making a photocopy of my passport--will do!! Obviously, I will be staying with a family, so I hope that I will be able to leave it there--in a safe and locked location.

Beyond that, some typical smart advice was things like: carrying my purse in front of me where I can easily see it, being aware of my surroundings, not putting my purse, day pack, or camera anywhere where someone could take it, and to close all zippers. Another precaution is to be aware of robbers use of diversions--like having someone hold a piece of cardboard in front of me to read, or using a child as a diversion while I am pick pocketed. Honestly, I don't think I would have thought much of that--being a foreigner, I think I'd have probably taken the time to read a sign or talk to a child. Ah, there is just so much to be aware of--these are great things to know! (http://goitaly.about.com/od/italytraveltips/qt/pickpockets.htm)

Cell Phone

The time is getting close and closer for me to go to Italy, and there are still a lot of little things that I really need to figure out before I get there, one being cell phones. I have talked to a few different people about purchasing a cell phone in Italy, but no one has given me direct advice, or connected me to any resources where I could get advice. So, I took it upon myself to do some research. :)


First of all, I think there are some huge benefits to having a cell phone abroad. Since I am not just a tourist, and will be immersed in the culture--with no other American students (at least none that I know of at this point), I am going to have to rely on myself, and the Italians I meet, to get around; they will be my social network. An important part of a social network is communication. I can't name one friend I know that does not have a cell phone in the U.S. While I cannot make a overarching statement about people in Italy, I am guessing that most--if not all--young adults there also have cell phones. Having a cell phone will not only be useful for getting around the city (when I get lost, which I know will happen), but it will be useful to hear about events going on. The first month I am in Italy, before doing any research, I hope that friends I meet might let me know of things that are going on through texting or calling (which is common here), rather than hoping I run into them so that they can tell me. When my research does actually start, having a cell phone will be a useful way for me to connect with participants and check in to make sure that we are on the same page as far as the timing and place of meetings goes.


Clearly, having a cell phone will be a huge benefit, but 1) What kind do I get, and 2) How do I get it?


Solutions: 



Purchase a SIM card for use with an unlocked GSM cell phone 

1. must make sure the phone is 'unlocked' and compatible with other SIM cards
2. SIM card determines phone's number and allows access to the service that particular SIM card supports
3. Buy FOR (not in!) the country
4. purchase from a dealer in the US who specializes in selling and renting cell phones for use abroad
5. if you get it early, the number is embedded in the phone and I can give that number to friends and family; active SIM card when in the country

Rent or buy an unlocked GSM cell phone and prepaid sim card from Cellular Abraod

1. local Italian number for calls in Italy
2. Free incoming calls
3. fixed low rate for calls to the US
4. all menus in English
5. 24 hour a day service
6. include foreign adapter for charger
7. come with small prepaid initial credit (4 Euros = 23 minutes calling in Italy, 11 to US)
8. it's possible to buy additional prepaid minutes directly from Cellular Abraod when I place my order
9. can easily add time while in Italy
10. UNO mobile service

Italy SIM Card Rental and Purchase Options
http://goitaly.about.com/od/italytraveltips/qt/cell_phones.htm

SIM & Cell Phone Packages for Italy http://www.cellularabroad.com/packages-italy.html

Well, now I know! Next step is probably talking with my parents and those that have lived in Italy, and figuring out which option is best for me.

Italian Fashion

I was talking to a girl who recently went on a field study to Italy (I think I've mentioned her, and this story before). She said that she felt really uncomfortable in Italy a great deal of the time; so, she ended up dying her hair brown so that she would fit in more. I definitely think that that was a dramatic move, but one that was obviously important to her. So, to help myself fit in--and not stick out like a total tourist--I decided to look up Italian fashion. And, while you might think this is a young woman's excuse to look at clothes, honestly, fitting into the culture is extremely important for me to have a full immersion experience, and even to do well on my project. I've talked with Sarah, my field director, and a girl in my class, Caitlyn, about style down there, but Sarah was in Rome during the fall, and Caitlyn spent all of her time in Northern Italy. Hence, I don't really know what types of clothes I should bring. I know my packing options will be limited, so I want to make sure that I what I do pack is appropriate for the weather, the culture, and so that I feel comfortable.

To do this, I decided to look up Roman fashion blogs, articles, and magazines so that I can get a good idea of what I want to pack. One thing I do know is that Rome is extremely humid in the summer. Anyhow, without  further ado, Roman Fashion!

I looked up an article titled "What to Wear for the Summer in Italy" on usatoday.com and here were some of their tips:

• Italy travel writer Jessica Spiegel writes, "Truthfully, you can pack and wear whatever you want in Italy ... but it really is smart to think about what you are wearing and alter it slightly when visiting. You’ll fit in better, and feel more at home." 
• What suits most Americans in the hot season is too informal for Italian fashion; go for longer shorts, dress and skirts; sandles are suitable; stilettos are extremely common! (Whaaa?)
• Italians will often give up comfort (being to hot) rather than look sloppy; it would be a good idea to do some shopping down there.
• While open "breezy" clothing is acceptable, it's always smart to bring a sweater with you to cover up in case you go into more formal places, like churches, where respect is necessary
• No red tonails! Apparentely paiting your tonails in bright colors may look trashy to an Italian--this could be the best advice I've gotten so far
• Steer clear from big backpacks, it's much more appropriate (and less touristy looking) if you bring a small purse
• Black is probably the number one color for Italians--it looks good with almost everything and is easy to accessorize with

I think I will definitely pick up a lot while I'm there, but here are some photos that might help me focus on the type of clothes I plan to bring!

Challenges and Concerns in the Field

I really enjoyed our last class period, we had all of our field directors go to the front of the room to form a panel and discuss challenges, mainly unexpected ones, that they had while in their perspective countries. A few that stood out to me were 1) finding housing and 2) being alone. I don't know whether it's a good or a bad sign that I already know these things will be challenges...bad because I'm already having problems and I'm not even in the field yet. However, if I take the "glass half full" approach, then I guess I can look at this as a positive--I know now that they will be challenges, so I can work on diffusing them before I get to the field, right? Right.

Housing

Housing has definitely been more of a challenge that I originally had expected, a lot of this probably came from the fact that it took me so long to decide where I was going to live. But I've realized that, while it would be great to get help from others, this really is my responsibility--or at least it has become my responsibility since I am now going to Italy as an individual student. So, since I have exactly 37 days until I will be in ROME (how did that happen so quickly?), I have exactly 37 days to figure this out. While I'd love to figure it out today, my goal is to have it set in stone in 2 WEEKS. I think I've mentioned before that I'm networking with every connection I have to Italy--return missionaries, other students who have done field studies or even internships in Italy, and I recently got in contact with the head of the Italian department, who gave me their contact in Rome. I have been emailing back and forth the last couple of days--he is originally from Milan, but just got stationed in Rome and is actually still looking for a house for him and his family this moment. He said he would start asking around and see if he could find a room that a family might be willing to rent out. So, right now I definitely have my fingers crossed on this one! I really do want to stay in Rome, I have a couple other contacts outside of Rome. Honestly, this who experience has been a huge testimony builder--I'm learning to have faith and know that, as long as I do all that I can, things will work out. The Lord's plan is better than anything I can imagine, and part of His plan is His timing. So, I am trying as hard as I can, and putting my faith in the Lord that it will work out.

Being Alone

I'm telling you, a good majority of the times that I tell people about my plans for Italy, their reaction includes asking me, "Have you ever seen taken?" AKA: The movie where two young teenage girls go to Europe alone, make some dumb choices, and end up being taken by criminals who sell them to be sex slaves. My answer, "Yes, I've seen it, but I'm also much more mature, prepared and ready to take the necessary precautions for my safety." I do think these people have a point, going to a foreign country alone does come with it's risks, but I'm doing what I can now to diffuse them. I'm planning on living with a family in Rome, I'm not going with a friend alone and staying in an apartment. I've already started making friends with some of the young adults in Rome's Young Single Adult program, whose contact information I've gotten from Return Missionaries. While I don't want to limit my experience to hanging out and interviewing members of the church, I feel that the more friends I can make before I get there, the better. Sarah talked about how she was really lonely in the beginning, that it would have been nice to have someone to talk to about--anything and everything--at the end of the day. I think it will still take me building relationships and friendships once I get there, but I figure that breaching relationships right now will help me a lot my first few weeks in Rome.

Snap! I'm so excited!!!!! Yes, it will be tough, but aren't all things worth achieving?

So Many Questions AND SOME ANSWERS!

Yes, I have been figuring out more about how I will conduct my field study by the day, but here's the thing: I'm still a bit naive (for lack of a better word) when it comes to international travel and a lot of specifics about Italy. So, for this blog, I am going to draft a list of questions that I have about traveling and living in Italy. My goal will be to get these questions answered. :)

1. How should I handle my money when in Italy? 
1. There are lots of options, often best to carry cash. 
2. Where/how should I carry it?
1. You can buy money holders that are discrete. 
3. Should I carry cash, or use a credit/debit card and take money out when I need it or pay with that?

1. Cash, but since I'll be there for such a long time, I may be able to do okay with a credit card--I will just have to check the fees for taking out money at ATMs.
4. What are the best places to meet young adults?
1. Young adult ward
2. Just in the town; networking. I was talking to a girl who did a similar project to mine on a field study and she said that she doesn't know how she would have survived without a facilitator and someone who spoke the language to connect her to other people. Makes me a bit nervous...
5. What big safety precautions should I make sure to take?
1. Don't go places alone, just use common sense. The girl I was just talking about actually dyed her hair brown to blend in more; that said, she was staying in Naples..
6. What is travel like between different cities in Italy--is the train the best way to go? Should I purchase a Eurorail pass?
1. There is the train, the metro and the bus system. I can buy a bus pass for about 32 Euros a month and get all around Rome (or where ever I end up staying)
7. How much should I pack for 3 months?

1. Always best to pack light (I guess that was obvious)
8. How much does it cost to bring a suitcase on a plane?
1. about $25 for 1st bag and $50 for 2nd.
9. What are common things that people do during the week?
1. No one had a solid answer, it just varies by where you are; in Rome young adults usually spend most of their time at school or work, similar to here.
10. What are common things that people do on the weekends?
1. Again, so variable, I didn't get a great answer.
11. On Sunday?
1. I spoke with a couple RMs who said that the young adults are not very into going to church. Members of the LDS church do, but outside of the church it is not as common.
12. What is the church like in Italy?
1. Quite long, most young adults don't go--according to the RMs that I spoke with.
13. Are most Italians strong Catholics?
1. Not the younger generations.
14. How do people dress in Rome?
1. Similar to here, appearance is definitely important to them.
15. Will my curling iron/straighter work in the outlets?
1. Nope, I'll need to buy an adapter. 
16. What are some MUST SEE things in Italy?
1. The list is too long to put in here, but anywhere I can go with the locals are the best--they can show me the little known places
17. How is Rome different from a small town? Is it a lot less traditional? 
1. A lot more of the 'melting pot' feel, but the RMs said that I will still be able to pick up on a ton of Italian Culture.
18. What is the difference between Northern, Central, and Southern Italy?

1. Northerners are definitely more educated and wealthy; Central (Around Rome) is much more diverse, and the South is described as having a lot of heart. :)

What Questions to Ask?

I am going into the BYU travel agency tomorrow and purchasing my plane tickets! Once that's done, there is NO TURNING BACK! Which, by the way, I am beyond excited about. :) So, in less than 24 hours I will have my plane ticket to Italy and, in 41 days I will be on the plane to Italy. 41 days sounds like a decent amount, but then I think about ALL I have to do and prepare for before then. I'm not going to lie--it gets a little bit overwhelming... But, right now my focus is finishing up with my IRB proposal. It's due this Tuesday and one thing that I don't have ready for it yet, are the questions that I am going to ask my participants. In class, it was mentioned that the best way to figure out what questions you should ask is by knowing your participants. The problem: I don't know my participants. I've read things about Italy, of course, but not enough to form and articulate my actual questions. Unfortunately, for the sake of getting my project approved, I have to come up with some questions--at least sample questions--for my project. So, I am going to take this opportunity to draft some. I'm going to try to do it a little bit like a free write and, hopefully, some of the questions will stand out to me that I can use for my study.

1. What are women in your society expected to do?
2. Why are they expected to engage in these roles/behaviors?
3. What are men in your society expected to do?
4. Why are they expected to engage in these roles/behaviors? 
5. Is it important to you to to engage in these gender-specific roles?
6. What would be the consequences of not engaging in these roles? Cultural? Social? Personal?
7. What are characteristics that you look for in a man/woman?
8. What makes a woman a good wife and mother?
9. What makes a man a good husband or father?
10. What is a woman's role in the home?
11. What is a man's role in the home?
12. Whose role is more important in the home?
13. Who (a man or a women) is more competent with home-based tasks?
14. What is a woman's role in the workforce?
15. What is a man's role in the workforce?
16. Whose role is more important in the workforce?
17. Who (a man or woman) is more competent with work-based tasks?
18. What are your goals for the future? For work? Marriage? Raising a family?
19. What do you want your role to be in the home? Why?
20. What do you want your role to be in the work field? Why?
21. If you were unable to contribute signficantly to a home-based role (providing emotionally), how would you feel?
22. If you were unable to contribute significantly to a work-based role (providing financially), how would you feel?
23. Do you feel like is it important in Italy for men and women to engage in gender-specific roles?
24. Do you think a women not performing certain duties in the home--like raising children, cooking, and cleaning--means that she is in some ways a failure?
25. Do you think a man not performing certain duties at home--like raising children, cooking, and cleaning--means that she is in some ways a failure? 
26. Do you think a woman not performing certain duties at work--like providing financially (or even protecting her family)--means that she is in some ways a failure?  
27. Do you think a man not performing certain duties at work--like providing financially (or even protecting his family)--means that he is in some ways a failure?  

Well, I think this is a good start! I've realized that I have some good questions to ask, but also that my questions need a lot of perfecting. :)

Fondi or Rome

Ah, where do I even begin? Every conversation I have had this week ends in a discussion about me going to Italy and--more specifically--where I am going to stay, in Fondi or Rome. As I write that, the answer seems obvious: Rome. It has been a dream of mine to go to Rome for years now, and--until about 5 months ago, I had never heard of Fondi; the only reason I even know where it is now is because Fondiis where the field study 'group' was supposed to go. Honestly, I was happy with Fondi, and excited about traveling with some other BYU students to experience Italy as an Italian would.

That said, I was thankful that I had a group to go with because, well, 1) I've never been to Italy, 2) I am far from fluent in Italian, and 3) I am a single women--it's comforting to know that someone I know from BYU will have my back. Unfortunately, everyone else that was planning on going to Fondi dropped out of the program. Suddenly, I find myself with a new sense of autonomy. I was initially fine with going to Fondi, and maybe I still am, but I can't help but consider Rome. Like I mentioned before, I have always wanted to go there and there is so much culture in that city, that I don't want to go to Italy, and miss out on an opportunity to live in a city that is so rich with culture. Then, there is Fondi--a smaller town where I can engage and immerse myself in a different aspect of Italian Culture. I have had the "Pro & Con" conversation about 20 times now, and have gotten the opinion of mass amounts of people. That said, the decision is still mine. Others "make the decision," but their decision has no repercussions; my decision affects my field study, not to mention the next three months of my life, and my potential happiness. So, rather than writing my pros and cons out like a conversation (the one I've had 20 times), I am going to make a list. Hopefully seeing it will help make my decision more clear to me.

Rome
Pros	Cons
Rich Culture So much to do--for enjoyment and for my study Lots of young adults and events oriented towards this age group (which I'm studying) Easier communication (?) Close to the LDS church; could still go to my church and other churches of friends I make Near lots of historical sites--something I can only get in Rome, whereas the beach in Fondi isn't a big pro	Safety, it's a big city and there are obvious concerns that come with that I might not pick up as much Italian because--being a tourist site--many people will speak English Potentially harder to find participant
Fondi
Pros	Cons
Safer than Rome Probably easier to integrate with the community (?) I would be forced to use Italian more, and pick up on more of the language Maybe some sports teams (things like that to get integrated Find more traditional/typical Italian families/culture Near a beach (might be a good place to meet young adults, but I also have plenty of beaches in the US, I don't have the sites there are in Rome)	I may miss out on a lot of the great aspects of Italy I would probably not get to experience Sundays there if I chose to continuing going to my church (LDS) because the ward is in Rome Near a beach--maybe a lot of seafood

Rome

Fondi

Ah, I feel like this is really one of the most difficult decisions I've had to make. 1) Because I am making my pro and con list on assumptions--maybe it will actually be easier for me to make friends in Rome or maybe there will be a lot more to do in Fondi. Who knows!? I haven't been able to talk to someone who has really gotten to spend a lot of time in Fondi, but I've talked to a lot of people who have been to Rome. It's a consensus that Romes is AMAZING. I obviously need to make my decision as soon as possible, or I am going to end up with no place to live in either city. Hmm I really had hoped writing this would clear things up in my mind, but honestly....I don't think either city is better, just different. I almost feel like I need to make a decision, then sleep on it over the weekend and see how I feel. If it feels good, I'll go with it, if I'm not feeling good about it, then hopefully that will be an answer as well. The toughest part is that it's really a decision only I can make..sure, other's can share their opinion (and I am GRATEFUL for it), but...in the end, it's my (potentially) once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I want to make the most of it.

I just spent 20 minutes thinking about this and.....

THE DECISION: I'm going to Rome!

I feel good about it in the moment, we'll see how it sits :)

Living Arrangement

Living Arrangements

Maybe I'll live in a place like this while I'm
in Rome, who knows!?

So, last time I posted, I talked a lot about stressed. Am I still stressed? Yes. Am I working to reduce that stress. Yes. One thing that is really important to me to reduce that stress is finding housing in Italy. Obviously there are several other things to deal with, like plane tickets and finances, BUT I could get all of that figured out, fly to Italy, and then have NO where to live.


Sarah has been a sweetheart and is looking into me potentially living with the lady she lived with this past semester, Caitlin is also in contact with a missionary friend is who is living in Rome, and hopefully something will come of that. But, to be honest, it kind of adds to my stress a bit not to have control over this aspect of my trip. I think I am going to start trying to do some of my own investigative research. I know that the BYU field study program discourages students from living with member families, but honestly, safety is a HUGE concern for me going to Italy by myself. That's not what I was planning on when I signed up for the field study, and I would feel so much more comfortable living with a family that shares the same beliefs and standards with me. I may try to get in contact with the bishop of the Rome ward and maybe he can connect me with a family...Maybe, if I talk with him, he can set me up to live with a family that aren't members, but that he knows well and trusts. Either way, I only have a month and a half to figure this all out, and considering how quickly the last 2 weeks just shot by, this is something I don't want to sit around and hope happens. I am so appreciative for all the help of everyone, and I really do hope some of those things go through, but until they do, I think it is my responsibility to start making things happen. I'm going on a field study by myself, I am going to be alone in a country, trying to speak a language that I am far from fluent in--I guess now is as good as time as ever to really start relying on myself--hoping that I don't have to do everything alone, but planning on it.

Welp, the 8:00am hour has hit, and I'm going to start making some calls and working on my check list items!