Passion

What I should have spend the day doing: homework
What I did spend the day doing: watching this:
The sneak peak:

The full version I watched:

Was it what I should have been doing? Obviously not.
Was it the 'right' thing for me to be doing? Absolutely.


While this video has nothing on my project/field study in Italy, it--now--has kind of everything to do with it. I spent an hour and a half watching a video of different people around the world, some only for a minute or two, but I feel like I can understand so much about them through those two minutes. I realize that has a lot to do with the fact that National Geographic and YouTube have amazing employees who can edit film, add music and instill certain feelings in viewers in such a short amount of time. Still, with that said, in an hour and a half, I gained so much insight from watching that video. Then, I think about all of the time I have spent reading articles, and how much less enlightened I feel by them. Not because there is not amazing information in them, but--I think--it's because the raw human element...the simpleness of our nature--is so much harder to adequately capture in a paper.


I'm going off on a tangent now, but I promise to bring it back. 

I was just accepted into the #1 ranked Marriage and Family Therapy program in the nation--Brigham Young University. I spent my undergrad years here and am excited to continue and expand upon my education.  While my ultimate goal is to be a therapist, research is extremely important in the field--it's how we can learn more about, and understand, human nature and human behavior. The things we learn through research can better equip us to help our clients in the future--basically what I'm getting at is that because of things learned through research, I can become so much more effective in learning about people, learning from people and helping people. It sounds cliché, but those are my passions. I definitely want to contribute to that portion of the social science field, and--although I have not started my program--there is definitely pressure to start publishing papers. So, going to Italy seemed kind of perfect--I could go to this amazing country, learn about the people, AND publish a paper. Kind of perfect, right? Well, yes, in a lot of ways, but no in other ways. I feel like somewhere in my desire to 'do it all,' I lost sight of my focus and three things brought it back.

1. I was talking to my future mentor for the Marriage and Family Therapy program, Dr. Butler, about research and how a lot of people have been telling me how much more important quantitative data was (if you'll remember, that's basically hard numbers--surveys with scales where people rate certain things and answer questions without really elaborating). He agreed that it was, but said that there was so much richness in qualitative research (more in-depth interviews) and that I could publish a paper with that, and hey, maybe I will.
2. BUT the second thing that reestablished a bit of my focus was the "Life in a Day" video, which is basically a video (as opposed to a paper) of qualitative research.



I guess I don't speak whale (no ORCA grant)

3. The third, I didn't get my ORCA grant, which would have been $1500 towards my field study to Italy.

I think I was so focused on getting hard/"good" data that I lost track of what it was that I was passionate about studying. I wrote up a proposal for the ORCA grant and have been trying to stay within the parameters of what I proposed even though my interests were constantly evolving. I have been trying so hard to find a project that fits that, fits Italy and fits my capabilities, rather than doing a project that fits, or aligns with, my passions. Obviously, my language barrier will be tough, and interviewing will be hard, but that's what I want to do. I want to learn about people, and the best way I know how to do that is watching them and talking with them. 

I remember dating a guy who said he never talked to people in line at the grocery store or that he sat by randomly because it was probably the only time he would see them and the interaction would be a waste. My response to him made me realize something I wasn't even consciously aware that I believed. I told him I ALWAYS talked to that random stranger on the bus or in the elevator because that might be the ONLY OPPORTUNITY I ever have to talk with them, and I would never want to pass up a once in a life time chance. As I write, I know that it might sound cheesy, but it's true. Just like in the video, the simple moments in life are what makes it beautiful--that's what I want to study. I just read a blog with a post titled, "Why I talk to strangers" I'd recommend reading it: http://www.avisamkaplan.com/2008/08/why-i-talk-to-strangers-and-you-should-too

Now, obviously, I know it's important to have a focus--and the narrower the better, but I want to know why young adults in Italy are the way they are--what's important to them, what motivates them, what scares them. Maybe sticking with research on values and gender roles is a great because it ties so well into daily life, but maybe it's not. I don't want to miss out on something important because I'm so focused on finding something specific. Maybe I'll write a paper (I definitely will for my class), but maybe I want to do more of a documentary. Not that I have film experience, but then again--neither did most of those whose film clips from YouTube made the video...

I feel like I'm always at square one with my project, but maybe I should stop looking at it like a 100m sprint with a sure beginning and sure end. Maybe it's more an open field--I can run 100 meters, or even 10, in any direction I want, and no matter what direction or how far I go, I'm no closer to the start or the finish--I've just learned a little bit more about that specific spot. I think there's a lot of beauty in that. It's all knowledge (or land in this analogy), right? Maybe the hours I've spent doing research on cohabitation, premarital perceptions, values, or gender roles will come in handy when I'm in Italy, maybe they won't. Maybe I'll create an amazing documentary, maybe I'll publish a great paper, and--then again--maybe I won't. All I know is that I have 90 days in Italy and I am going to spend it doing something I am passionate about.  I don't want to spend time stressing over something that I'm not. I'll have plenty of time in the future to do survey research--and I'm excited for that, honestly--but I want to take advantage of being in Italy and focus my time and energy on something that I wouldn't be able to do from home. I'm passionate about watching people, talking with them, and learning to better understand them. So, I'm studying what I'm passionate about by asking them what they're passionate about.