Happiness

I am reading a book called Happier ILern the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment) by Tal Ben-Shahar. I may have mentioned it before in my blog (?), but it is a positive psychology book and I just got done with part 1 of the book, entitled: "What is Happiness?" It discusses the question of happiness, reconciling present and future, it explains happiness, talks about "the ultimate currency," and finally ends with goal setting--the aspect of the book that I'd like to focus on now.

I have been setting goals from the time I could use a glue stick and stick a magazine cut-out to a posterboard (thank you mom:), I have refined my goal setting techniques throughout years of experience, and a big part of my job now--as a Freshman Mentor--is to help others set goals. As I prepare to go to Italy, I find myself setting goals once more, but this time it's a little more difficult because my ultimate goal is a little illusive, which makes setting short term goals a little less productive. I want to set goals that make me happy in the present and in the future, specifically about my field study. But how do I do that? This book helped me put things in perspective.

David Mayers and Ed Diener claimed that,

Happiness grows less from passive experience of desirable circumstances than from involvement in valued activities and progress toward one's goal.

In a big sense, this means that to be happy, we need to be progressing, and one of the best ways to progress is by setting goals.

Some facts about goals:

• People who set goals are more likely to succeed than people who do not--it's important to have a clear timeline and performance criteria when setting goals
• Goals communicate to ourselves and to others, the belief that we are capable of overcoming obstacles
• Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chances to draw back; always ineffectiveness
• A goal, an explicit commitment, focuses our attention on the target and helps us to find ways to get there

So, clearly, goals are important for us, but one this that people don't expect is that goals--even if we reach them--don't always make us happier. This comes from people viewing goals the wrong way and setting the wrong ones. If we view goals as and end, rather than a means, our increased happiness from accomplishing a goal is likely to be short lived. This book emphasizes that, "it is the process of striving after goals--rather than goal attainment per se--that is crucial for happiness. When I read that, it immediately made me think of my field study to Italy. I want to set goals now that I can enjoy doing, and when I'm in Italy, I want to be able to enjoy the process of getting to my ultimate goal. 

The best goals are "meaningful and the journey they take us on needs to be pleasurable for them to bring about significant increase in our happiness." We can do this by pursing goals that involve growth, connection and contribution, not ones that involve money, beauty, and popularity; and goals that are interesting and important to us, rather than ones that we feel we should or need to do. When I decided to go on a field study, I really felt that I should make sure to do a project that would result in me publishing a paper--so, my goal was to get published. I've come a long way from there. While that is a worthy goal, and I do want to publish in my near future, I feel like my connection to the Italy people and my growth as an individual will make me happier while I'm in the field, and will also lead to me being a better person in my future. As I train to be a therapist, research is important (I've mentioned this before), but my connection with people and ability to help them in their lives is crucial, and more important (in my opinion) in the grad scheme of things. As my favorite quote says,

Never let a problem to be solved become more important that a person to be helped."

-Thomas S. Monson

Enjoy the process and the results!

My ultimate goal: To always be progressing towards becoming a better person and reaching untapped levels of potential

How Italy can help me with this: Broadening my horizons by learning about a different culture--learning their language, their customs, their beliefs, and how they view the world

How I can incorporate this into a field study: Making my first priority to be to know the people, I am more interested in getting to know people as individuals--details about them specifically, rather than to try and gather information on a group to find norms. I think I will definitely be able to pull out similarities among individuals, but I still want to respect the individual above the task, or even the 'group.' I think that will help me progress towards my ultimate goal, and I am quite positive that it will make me happy in both the short or long term because I am enjoying the process of reaching my goal, as much as I will enjoy reaching the actual goal! Ah the beauty and simplicity of setting goals. I know I will have to get more specific, but I think this is a good jumping off point. :)