Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal Communication: the type of communication that women wished their male counterparts would actually pick up on. Also defined--by my good friends at Wikipedia--as the process of communication through sending and receiving wordless (mostly visual) messages between people. This type of communication can include gestures, touch, body language, posture, facial expression, and eye contact. This list, however, is not all inclusive; even things such as the proximity and space within which you communicate, or your hair style and dress are aspects of nonverbal communication.

We talked about this in class today, which I thought was perfect, given that I had just recently made the comment that one of my potential dream-jobs (besides Cinderella at Disneyworld) would be to be a professional people watcher--I guess my future career as a Marriage and Family Therapist (hopefully! 8 hour interview for the program on Monday, wish me luck!) will incorporate picking up on a lot of verbal and nonverbal communication. That was a slight tangent, but I really do think that so much of our communication is nonverbal. Some non-verbal communication is easy to pick up on, like after my Mom asks me to take out a trash (a job meant for my brothers, am I right?), although I respond positive, "Yeah." it's hard to ignore my slouch shoulders and eyes rolled into the back of my head--a clear negative response gesture. Other nonverbal communication is slightly more difficult to pick up on:  shifty eye movements, or little gestures. I immediately think of sarcasm--when you meet someone new and they say something that could be anywhere on the spectrum from deeply serious to wildly sarcastic, and you don't know which it is (awkward turtle); if you knew their personality or little cues to look for, you could probably figure it out. I was once asked out by a random guy in the library, who later told me that I non-verbally communicated to him that I wanted him to ask me out. News to me! While I think it's important to be aware of other's nonverbal communication and how you're interpreting it, it's also important to be aware of your own--I'd like to think the guy was way out in left field on that conclusion, but maybe I did do something to non-verbally communicate that to him (although I do think that is highly unlikely b/c he was sitting across the room and I didn't see him until he was already sitting by me, just FYI;).

Two aspects of non-verbal communication are

1. Proxemics: the physical space in communication, and how individuals perceive the physical space around them. Our messages, from sender to receiver, are interpreted quite differently based on how close or far we are from the other person. I'm sure we all know people with varying 'personal bubbles,' like the girl at my dessert party who spoke with her face about 4 inches from mine--quite uncomfortable for me. Proxemics vary from person to person and by culture. I have a feeling Italians won't have too big of a personal bubble--luckily mine isn't too big either. :) I'll let you know for sure when I get there!
2. Kinesics: How people move, their body language. This is the kind of non-verbal communication that most people think of, it includes physical touch. Think how differently a hug is perceived compared to a high five, slap, or pat on the shoulder!

I thought learning the Italian language was tough by itself, without considering the nonverbal cues that will be unique to the Italian culture. I think this field study will be the best darn learning experience I've ever had!

This video is a little dramatic, but I think it gets the point across of some aspects of non verbal communication.